I (F23) am a straight woman and I date a wonderful man (24 years old), who is bisexual and has always made that very clear to me.

We met as teenagers, became friends and ended up falling in love. He's a very funny guy, shy around people he doesn't have much intimacy with, loves geek culture, is kind, caring, intelligent and an incredible man that I admire so much. It was inevitable not to fall in love.

When we were still teenagers, he came out to me, said he liked women and men and that he was still processing it, but felt safe sharing it with me. He assured me that it wouldn't change anything in our relationship and that he loved me. I told him I loved him in every way, that it wasn't a problem for me (and it isn't), as long as he loved me back. I would be more than happy.

Recently, our relationship was great, our sex life was always very active, and we were always looking for new things to try, but >exclusively< between the two of us.

I started to feel that he was becoming a little distant, he was no longer initiating sex as often as before. I found it strange, but I had no problem initiating it myself and showing that I wanted him. However, he always refused me with a "guilty" look on his face. I was worried and decided to confront him about it.

He apologized for acting that way and told me he was like that because he wanted to tell me something and was nervous about my reaction. With a heavy heart, I told him he could tell me, as I didn't want to see him like this and we needed to talk to resolve the situation. He told me that lately he has been feeling frustrated about his sexuality, he mentioned that he has never had the opportunity to have sex with another man and that he is curious to try it. He considered the possibility of an open relationship, but also stated that he loves me deeply, doesn't want to make me insecure and assured that he is very turned on and that he is in love with me.

I was surprised and sad at the time, I'm not going to lie, not because he is bi and wanted to be with another man, but because he wanted an open relationship and was possibly not satisfied with our relationship. I am monogamous and have never considered the possibility of an open or polygamous relationship. I know it's old-fashioned and boring, but I don't feel comfortable with that type of relationship. When I commit to someone, it's until the end.

I think he noticed my sad expression and tried to downplay the idea, but I stopped him. I told him that it's okay to have these desires and that he should be honest with himself. I told him that if he wanted it, he should pursue it, but I made it clear that I couldn't bear the idea of ​​an open relationship and that it would be better if we broke up so he could have these experiences, as much as it broke my heart.

He was desperate, he said he didn't want to break up, that I'm the love of his life and that he regretted telling me that. This made me even more sad. I can't help but think that I'm depriving him of something and I don't want to see him unhappy because of it. He is the love of my life, and if I need to break up so that he can follow his desires and be happy, I will do it, but it hurts so much.

Sorry if what I wrote was too long and a little hard to understand, im using the translator. I'm still not thinking straight, and everything is very recent and I needed to get it off my chest.