So most my life I identified as straight but around 19 I switched to bi-curious and mostly just gave head to different guys in my area, while messing with women primarily.

At 21 I got into a long term relationship with a girl that lasted 5 years and I stopped messing with other people and again held myself out as straight. Not really closeted, but I was only with my girl, i loved her, so it just didn't matter.

We broke up due to reasons unrelated to my sexually and I decided to explore my attraction to men again while I got over my ex. I was about 26-27 when I had sex with a man for the first time.

Im pretty comfortable sleeping with both women and men now and I identify fully as pan verse top with a straight lean, as I mess around with whoever, but still mainly see myself dating a cis female.

Strangely though I will literally crave sleeping with a male if I haven't In a while and I will crave a female if that's been too long...

But when I finish inside of a male I always feel a little gross about it after. Kinda like when you finish after watching porn and you just feel a lil disgusted with yourself.

I don't feel that way after a finish with a woman, so I really just don't understand why I do with guys.

It's doesn't last for long, literally by the next day I feel fine but it kinda ruins the post sex cuddle because I just want to go home and take a shower.