Alrighty here it goes:

I never much questioned my sexuality growing up. I had crushes on guys in school and dated some in and after college. However, when I was with my last boyfriend if people asked about marriage my heart sank (not only because he wasnt the right fit for me) but that I would never have a chance to experiment with women. Once I was out of the relationship I ended up having a 3some with a guy and a girl, and I was so excited to finally have that experience. After that is when I really started questioning. I began to listen to podcasts and read books and quiz all my friends who are almost all queer, and then quiz my straight friend as well. She said she had a 3some with a woman once and it was fun, but she had no urge to do it again. Well, I do, but I’m not sure if it is out of curiousity to do further research and like sex is pleasurable or if I am actually attracted to women. On top of that I of course find non binary people attractive. But again, do I recognize they are attractive (women/enby) or am I attracted to them? I’ve been on a couple dates and only one i felt there was a vibe, but I know that doesn’t mean I don’t like women/enby people those people were just not a right fit. My friend also says wanting to be bi is enough and that straight people do not want to be bi.

And to top it all off I reflected on my childhood/youth and I think I was in love with my best friend in high school. We were always together and when she got a boyfriend I was super jealous. My mom also found me kissing a friend of mine literally in a closet when I was like 4 and that I told her it was ok for girls to kiss each other.

And last weekend I went out for pride and a friend of a friend was hardcore hitting on me and asked me out we ended up dancing and making out at the bar. It was fun and enjoyable, but is it the attention and excitement that someone finds me attractive, or am I actually attracted to women?

If any of this resonates with anyone I’d love to hear your thoughts!