I have been feeling so unfulfilled for so darn long that I feel cursed.

I have just reached a new level of lowering my standards bar a few days ago.

I finally stumbled across a man that caught my interest after many months.

Men very rarely happen to catch my interest.

He is a geeky dude that happened to be cute enough to catch my interest.

He will probably never know about my existence.

I caught feelings for him because we have a shared unusual taste in common.

We both enjoy a bunch of the very same retro videogames.

We do not really have anything else compatible other than that.

We do not even live in the same continent.

He already commented that I am definitely not his type at all.

I spent the last few days fantasizing about making him my wife anyway.

I kept thinking about getting him to sit on my lap.

I kept desiring to grab and squeeze his boobies and booties with my hands.

I cannot help myself from wishing he had a vulva.

I could have enjoyed fingered, fisted, licked and sucked him if he had a vulva.

I was even tempted to getting him pregnant if he had a vulva.

I often wish men had vulvas whenever they happen to catch my interest.

I have a preference for vulvas that is an unegotiable part of me.

My preference for vulvas is rooted in my preference for topping.

My preference for topping is rooted in my preference for dominance.

My preference for dominance is rooted in my need for control.

My need for control is rooted in my need for security.

Everything else about my love life is pretty much open to negotiation.

I am very aware that I am definitely not a straight woman.

I consider myself more a transbianish person before anything else.

I am trying to move on right now from my fantasies.

Will probably take another very long time for me to fall in love again.

I have no idea of what to do about my love life.

I feel like a pathetic tortured slave of my own feelings.

Thanks whoever took the time to pay attention anyway.