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For the bi/leb women who don't mind reading a bit - Questions ab courting a girl ???
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TLDR; I've had limited experience w ladies (I'm a lady), only sexual. Now I live with one and I'm actually in love. She's aware of my intense feelings and attraction. With her permission, I have been courting her - flirting, teasing, genuinely showing care in my everyday actions. I put control in her hands from the time I first expressed feelings in terms of please let me know to stop if this is ever unwelcome. So far we're both curious and open and haven't been sexual, but she seems to be enjoying the dynamic. I've also had a recent spiritual experience which has shifted my internal, and I am mentally committed to her and view her as a partner. As the one in the 'masc' role of the cat-mouse game, how can I drive a femme woman crazy? What are some nonverbal communications I might receive that indicate obvious green or red flags? Most of all I want to be respectful and make sure I haven't missed obvious or non-obvious signals of being uncomfortable. But I'm ready to step it up and I want to drive her crazy. Next step I was thinking of asking her to do rope play. This isn't too much is it?

So this post is mostly geared towards any women who have had experiences with dating women, but anyone is welcome to provide input. So far, my experience with women is limited to a couple sexual experiences, both of which both parties were not in a fully lucid state so I don't fully count. I'm generally not a super girly girl, and I'm not 'masc' either, but I seem to fall more into the masc role overall, and top.

This brings me to now, I've finally had the chance to actually talk with and learn sapphic dynamics. For 7 months, a female roommate has lived with us, and I am absolutely crazy for her. Not just sexually, I really like her. I'm no good at masking, and feelings have been so intense from the beginning, so I told her early on. I've told her every incremental step of this pursuit what is going to happen next and given her control from square 1 to stop it at any point if anything is unwelcome/uncomfortable, because her safety is of number one importance. I've got an inkling that she's overall curious/open and generally attracted because of the fact she gave me explicit permission to court her. We've made a great connection and friendship and at this point, I've mentally committed myself to her and view her as a partner - this has been a recent mental development. She has not given obvious red flags to stop. Up to this point I've been having so much fun with the game of chasing her and teasing her by playing on what kinks I know she has - just generally learning sapphic flirting, and more importantly learning her. The sexual tension and slow burn of two curious and inexperienced bi women figuring it out in the same house is so thrilling for me.

I guess my question is, I believe I've played a more masculine role in terms of cat/mouse chase. As the one in this role, is there something I can do to me more inviting to the feminine? Do they enjoy the chase from another woman? What does a femme expect at this point from another woman in the masc role and does it differ from what she may expect from a man in courting? What will absolutely drive a curious bi femme woman crazy coming from a woman she knows absolutely desires her and is ready to please in any way? What might be an open-ended option I can provide her which will give her the choice to escalate?

I do know there's no guarantee she likes me back or will like me and I'm happy with this dynamic regardless of if it develops sexually or not, my feelings are genuine - I love her. I also know that inexperienced women like myself can miss cues and communications, especially nonverbal, coming from other women - I don't want to make an ass of myself and miss any non-obvious red flag signals she's sending me. But I do want to step it up and I just want to know I'm doing is ok and that I'm not being a pig or disrespectful to her. I know she's a rope bunny, and I was going to ask her if she'd like to do some rope play (non-sexual of course). I'm just very nervous, as I usually am when I make a move. I get the whole nine yards - butterflies like a rollercoaster in my tummy, sweaty palms, racing thoughts, hesitation, bashful feelings. She usually giggles when I ask something bold but doesn't ever seem uncomfortable and hasn't told me its uncool. What do you ladies think, am I overthinking any of this?

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5 months ago