okay so let me rewind and give some backstory, i work with this girl and we’ve had a lot of flirtatious back and forth before finally deciding to see each other, first few dates go really well and we are sexually active with each other at this point. it took a long time for us to start going out because i wasn’t sure i wanted to be involved with her, not only do we work together but up until this past december(?) she was living with her ex. i understand you can’t just break a lease but nevertheless it made me feel weird and i avoided interactions with her as much as i could.

now that we’re seeing each other things have gotten really intimate emotionally and sexually, very quickly. it’s been about a month and a half and we are not exclusive, nor do we have a title(which is why i say “cheated(??)” in the title), but she treats me like a girlfriend, bought me presents for my birthday that just passed, the whole office knows we’re seeing each other, she’s very very affectionate.

i am getting overwhelmed with all of this. im a very private person and i didn’t think this through before engaging in it. i also don’t want a committed relationship with her and part of me feels like im her rebound since she’s diving into this so quickly.

now let me tell you about this guy, he’s one of my friends’ friends, i have met him quite a few times and we get along well. our friends have told me my interest in him is more than reciprocated and so i have been flirting with him more and more, i feel guilty because of the fact that things are moving so fast with this girl. what her and i are doing feels like a relationship (even though she explicitly has said it is not) and when ive talked to my friends about it they have said i dont have a reason to feel guilty because her and i are not committed to one another.

anyways let me stop typing your eyes off, i went to a concert with some friends and this guy last night and we hooked up, like slept in his bed and spent the morning with him hooked up. i very much so enjoyed myself, but when i first woke up there was a feeling like i had been caught, like i was guilty. i have never before been sexually active with two people at once and i would like to not be. i prefer sex with him and i dread being the stereotypical bisexual woman who goes right back to a man, but in truth, i don’t want her. i want him.

i’m feeling a lot of guilt and confusion and i would like some advice on how to end things with her soon in a respectful way so that i can still prioritize my feelings while being considerate of hers. how do i go about this at work? god help me please!!!

tl;dr i’m seeing a girl and getting very close with her(but not exclusive), i hooked up with a different guy and am feeling guilt and an urgency to end things with her so that i may pursue things with him, how should i do this?

ETA:context