I have always been a fervent advocate of intimacy-related communication. My go-to advice to people who struggle in the bed is to always communicate with their partner or pretendant or date about what they like and don't like as well what makes them comfortable and their boundaries. This literally solves 75% of issues.

Now speaking for myself. When it comes to hookup or first-time intercourse, I sometimes find myself saying too much about my preferences and also ask too much of my partner. I think that saying too much can have the opposite effect as it might spoil the spontaneity of the act, leaving little space for surprises, as you already know what the other person is thinking about and what they really want you to do for them.

I think it's fine to say what you like and set your boundaries straight, it's also fine to be vocal about what actually helps you climax more intensely and what increases pleasure for you and anyone involved, but at the same time, delving too much into details and asking for too much info-dump in return might flip the sex into being lackluster and self-conscious. I do not believe you should communicate every single micro step of your arousal / turn-off process to the person next to you, almost making it into a mechanical chore, and should leave some room for imagination and creativity. It's okay to trust your partner. Those things might be more evident for people who trust their intuition and have great chemistry with their dates/hookups/night-stands, whatever.

Also, we have to normalize mistakes in the bedroom. Sometimes people will do something that we're not a fan of, but at the end of the day, it's not a big deal. We can simply tell them we don't like this specific action and move on to different things. To illustrate, I was in bed with a guy once and he initially started to slap my ass, first gently and then a little more roughly, which I immediately halted, stating to him that I did not like that. He understood right away and never did it again and we moved on to other things, the way mature people handle it.

Anyone knows what I'm talking about?