I (25M, Gay) met a guy (24M, Bi) about a year ago. Starting in December 2023/January 2024, we started talking more frequently and hanging out more often. Since then, we have gone on dates, we have spent a lot of quality time together, talked about deep, personal issues and experiences, and have just explored our romantic possibilities. He had a boyfriend in the past, but it was a pretty short-lived relationship, a few months long.

He has told me he enjoys sex with both genders. Although, he has never really had a "relationship" with a woman. He also only started exploring same-gender sex and romantic feelings towards men about one year ago. Before beginning our "dating" phase, he warned me that, at times, he gets "grossed out," when thinking of a relationship with a man. For this reason, he wanted to take things slow with me, just to see how he would feel. He did this because, according to him, he felt different with me; he felt closer, more connected, and more willing to explore a romantic partnership with a man. He says he has a deep emotional, mental, and physical connection with me.

A few weeks ago, he told me that for now, he cannot commit to a "relationship," with me for the same reasons; he doesn't see himself with a man long-term, he doesn't want to marry a man, and cannot say he is in a "relationship," with a man. However, he said he still wants to do all the romantic things associated with a relationship, just without any commitment or any long-term goal of forming a "relationship." He still would want to kiss me, hold hands, cuddle, go on dates, etc., and he said he would definitely enjoy all of these things with me. None of these actions gross him out or make him uncomfortable. But, as he puts it, as soon as we would say we are in an official relationship, he would be "grossed out," and he would "unconsciously do things to stop the relationship," and may disappear from me altogether without saying a word.

He has stated he doesn't know how he would feel in a relationship with a woman because he's never tried it.

From what he is saying, to me it seems like he's attracted to both men and women sexually. It seems he's attracted to men romantically (because he wants to do all the romantic things with me), but he is uncomfortable with commitment towards a man.

I like him a lot. We have both told each other we love the other, and he has been honest about his feelings and struggles. He repeatedly has told me he likes me as a person, and he likes me romantically and sexually. Just that he cannot accept, himself, a relationship with a man. He wants to do everything with me, just "without any commitment." And he said he could probably do this long-term (for years), just not forever.

Would it be fair for me to accept this sort of connection? Doing everything as if we are boyfriends without ever making it official, until he decides he cannot do it any longer? He said if I don't, he still would love to be friends, at least.

Is it possible we have an "unofficial" relationship without commitment, and he later changes his mind and wants a relationship with a man?

Naturally, this mindset that he has is very confusing to me. Have other bisexual people experienced the same thing, and same mindset? What was the result for you? Did you eventually overcome the thought process and allow yourself to be in a same-gender relationship?

He has self-described this as a sexual identity crisis that is severely impacting his mental health. And he said he has seen a psychiatrist and that's what they told him. How can I best support him through this?