46F here, finally getting around to figuring my shit out. Came out as bi to my husband of 23 years last year, he has been very supportive. We are still monogamous, at least for now ... He is actually very curious about ENM, but I am more skeptical. (It's half that I have no game and half that I have so many family responsibilities that I'm not sure I have the bandwidth to do a good job with ENM, at least not till the kids are older/out of the house)

In 23 years I have not cheated on him and I don't plan to. I feel the need to clarify that because of what I'm about to say next:

All I can think about is women. Every minute of free mental space, I'm thinking about women. It's somewhat sexual but also an emotional yearning. When I was younger I had the chance to be with women and chose not to, for reasons... mostly having to do with internalized homophobia. But now that I finally acknowledged these feelings, it's like they're cranked up to 11 and I don't know what to do with them.

I just wonder if anyone else has experienced this. I keep thinking, because I'm bi (and not gay) ... my husband should be enough. I get intense crushes on men sometimes too but this sapphic yearning has more of a forceful quality to it. Probably because I repressed it for so long. And it's not just yearning for sex with a woman, but yearning to hold the door open for a woman, to hold hands with a woman, to be loved and desired by a woman, the whole package.

I just wonder if any bisexuals can relate. Do you experience intense interest in your"gender less traveled" sometimes? How do you deal with it, especially if you're staying monogamous?