Sorry if this isn’t the right place to go to. I just feel very listened to and safe here.

I’m 18m and autistic.

I currently feel like I’m suffocating honestly. I’m in a home that I don’t feel happy in and it’s the worst feeling ever.

I’m unemployed and out of education.

I barely have any savings but feel like I need to GET OUT. I need to move out and be independent as soon as possible. I worry that I’m just not coping currently.

People tell me that there’s no rush but I don’t think they understand this overwhelming feeling. No one in my family is close and I consistently feel upset here. I have no family I can stay with either. Same goes for friends.

All my friends are going to uni this year and honestly I feel super abandoned. I’m obviously proud and happy for them but it’s so difficult to cope with.

When I reach out it feels like I’m not being heard by anyone. I feel like I NEED to get out otherwise I will literally go insane.

The problem is I don’t feel mentally well enough to actually hold down a job. It’s an awful vicious cycle which is making me feel hopeless. I’m paying for weekly therapy sessions but I can’t help feel like it’s a massive financial drain that’s holding me back. I’m on disability benefits which is helpful but not nearly enough to live independently off of. I’m heavily considering just running away with no money and seeing what happens. I know that’s a bad idea but I feel like if I don’t do something drastic I’ll drown.

It’s currently Saturday night and I’m hyperventilating by myself because I feel so trapped and hopeless. People say I have to wait a few years but I don’t even think I can wait a few DAYS for this.

Does anyone have any advice? I’m in such a bad state right now :( I can’t call a helpline because my family will hear.