Background: I always have been identifying myself as straight but I’m sure people have been doubting I’m not because they assume my preferences or they have to ask.

I was messaging with a friend I havent talked to in months and I was just being silly with him and sending tease chats, but he was also reciprocating. Me, not having a lot of guy friends, didnt know it was perfectly normal for straight guy friends to be jokingly homosexual with each other.

We went out for brunch to catch up, had some drinks and continued drinking at his place. Somewhere deep down I wanted to be drunk and just feel free. Then suddenly the conversation went into sexuality or preferences and I admitted I was not straight. And immediately i regretted it.

He was so comforting and loving but i still regretted it. Having trust issues, self-doubts and poor mental state also didnt help. I remember he told me in the past that a friend of his came out to him, and I think that kinda helped me come out to him.

I said a lot of things i shouldnt have. Such as my gay hookup, my preference, and also how me and him were messaging made me think it was something. But dumb me, i know nothing was gonna happen coz he recently just proposed to his girlfriend. And I am not even into him. I didnt know what I was thinking with the whole confession thing. Maybe i just gave it a shot and hoping to see where things go.

Now I wanted to kinda stay away and distance myself to him because I know things are gonna be different even though he told me I’m still the same friend he knows. I feel ashamed for pouring everything on to him and told him everything.

Am I making a big deal out of it?