edit/ oh well. I think I'm just really bi with a preference for penises and that's as simple as that. it just depends on the moment. women and some feminine guys are hot too bruh

as a ftm who is clueless about relationships / sex etc bc I never experienced it yet, I'm so completely lost. but I finally understand my attraction better and why it was bugging me so bad.

I'm sexually attracted to guys (like, 90% of my attraction), but romantically I can only imagine myself with a girl. their smell, softness, to have cuddles with them, compliment them, having a wife and live with her and so on I really wish to experience that one day?\ but I can't see myself living this with a man at all, I'm not comfortable with it, and I don't find feminine men attractive either? and kissing/cuddling with a guy or something similar, hell naw, feels too uncomfortable

isn't this particularly weird? it kinda leaves me with two outcomes : I either just have a sex life / hookups with guys, but live sad knowing I'll never settle myself with someone and construct a life together, or I either do find a woman I'd love, but I'd probably crave cocks at some point and would have to break up bc I don't like the idea of cheating.

why tf is my brain like that, I don't like it.