I'm coming up on 50.

I'm a child of the 80/90's. We didn't know a lot about alternative lifestyles, or really have others to talk to like we do now.

Yeah, I had heard about gay and bi when I was a kid. But it always conjured up the idea that meant receiving. Something I just never had interest in. So I just avoided or didn't take interest in guys I knew were gay/bi.

Never saw a cock in person. Only ever in porn. And always loved anal porn. Then later trans porn. Told myself if only he into a dick or ass if it was a woman's. But that was honestly just denial.

Seems stupid to say, I was in my early 40's before I learned that some gay and bi men are exclusively tops. Even then it took it a while to sink in that this described me.

Now here I am at 48. Never been with a guy. Which honestly is ok. I'm married, and we have a good sex life. A good life in general.

But I did have an encounter. It wasn't fully sexual. But I'd still qualify it as cheating. Which I'm ashamed of. I'd never do anything like this or more again. Because I absolutely love my wife.

But about a month ago I took a walk on my lunch break. There are woods nearby, that are somewhat secluded. While I was out there there was a guy sunbathing naked.

I couldn't help but watch him for a few mins.

When he noticed me he started to leave. But I told him he didn't have to.

He walked over to me stark naked. So comfortable with himself. He was cute. Fit. And his cock just hung there.

He asked if I wanted to touch him. And my hand was on his cock before I could even stammer out a yes.

It was warm and squishy. And I badly wanted to suck him off.

He turned around and bent over. Spred his ass.

I so badly wanted to fuck him. But I couldn't bring myself to do that. There were a million reasons for me to say no. And only one reason to say yes. So I went with the million no's.

I don't regret it. At least not this particular time.

But I do regret not realizing sooner.

Anyways. I'll spend my days daydreaming over that cock.