I came out last year as bi at the age of 35. I'd had imposter syndrome for a long time because it didn't feel like my attraction to men worked the same as it did for a lot of my gay friends. As I started coming out to them, too, we got to talking, and I realized something important: it doesn't work the same because it's not the same. Not necessarily.

I'm not wagging my finger at people who think otherwise - I'm just informing. I'm bi myself and didn't really understand this until recently. Since lurking in here for a while, and talking to friends, and therapy, and a lot of other things, it's important that we recognize that being bi isn't merely a melding of two different orientations. It's a separate orientation.

Practically, what does that mean? It means that someone is still bi even if they don't find an attractive person of whatever gender to be sexually appealing. It means that they might have a narrow attraction profile for people who present masc or femme or what have you. It might mean that they're only bisexual and not biromantic. It's all a spectrum.

That is not to say that being gay or straight is a monolith by comparison. There are spectrums within those orientations, too. But often I find that the perception is a bi guy is both varieties smashed together inelegantly, and I just need to tell somebody that that's not true.