I heard about search angels, and I posted on Facebook group called Search Squad everything I know about my son. They messaged me, declining the post, they said they dont search for anyone under 21. I understand. But I want to know my baby is ok so badly. I have 2 children after him. I love them dearly. When my second was born, I freaked out, feeling like "I cant replace him with another baby". Hes 12 now, I dont regret it, I love him, but there was pain when he was a baby, they took my first when he was 2. Now, I had my 3rd son, now 8 months, and again it brought up my first. Its like, I love them, I appreciate who they are as i dividuals, but they do something cute he did, and I love it, laugh, smile, AND remember, and it is like this flood, my love for this child mixing with my love for him and my protectiveness mixing with the protection fail trauma of his loss, and the beauty of their moment mixing with the memories of his, each distinct, not mixed into one but, side by side, and its getting hit with this 6 shot cocktail, and I hokd my child and my heart breaks and pours out to him too, absorbing my love with this child while its like it reaches for him as well. It does not get easier.