I am a mother who was essentially forced into giving her daughter up for adoption 20 years ago. My adoption is open and my daughter has always known me but it has been far from perfect. I very much regret my decision and wish that I had had all of the resources the internet provides when I was making my decision all those years ago.

That being said, I thought I would provide a short list of resources that I have found helpful.

Books:

IMHO, many of the books out there are not very helpful to someone who is either dealing with the aftermath of placing a child for adoption or trying to gain insight into what the birthparent experience is like. Here are two that are actually incredibly helpful and worth reading:

1. The Open Adoption Experience. Even though this book existed when I gave my baby up for adoption, I did not discover it until many years after the fact. I really wish I had it from the get-go. I think EVERYONE involved in an adoption should read this book.

2. Lifegivers: Framing the Birthparent Experience in Open Adoption. Another really good one that I highly suggest to all involved in an adoption.

Websites

1. Musings of the Lame. Finding this website was an epiphany for me. I could have written just about every article on the site if I were able to express myself as well as the lady who actually wrote the site does. Point being, her experiences are extraordinarily similar to my own. Look past the terrible, hard-to-read font and spend some time here.

2. Concerned United Birthparents, Inc.. Reddit is about as close to group therapy as I get but CUB seems to be a great organization if you need more support than randoms on the internet can provide.

3. If you are considering placing your baby for adoption you need to read CUB's What You Should Know if You are Considering Adoption for Your Baby. Based on my experience, every single word of this document is true. I very much wish I had this information before I placed my baby. You, on the other hand, now do and I strongly advise you to take it to heart.

Please feel free to add resources that you have found helpful to this list.

Last, I am always available to answer questions or simply listen if anyone feels the need. Thanks so much!

Edit: Formatting