Backstory first:

I've always been very clinically shy. Like to the point where I would chew my nails bleeding at the sight of judgement. By 10th grade it was subsiding and I made TONS of friends. But slowly during 11th and especially 12th (I got into a relationship), they all slowly faded away. I was in a very long term relationship that I didn't expect to end and now I have less friends than ever, especially close friends.

I'm heading into a cybersecurity/remote career and I'm worried the asocial/antisocial aspect of it will cause me to be just as lonely as many of the people I've seen in the same career space.

I guess what I'm most worried about is the accumulation of Bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, my career choice, and my inability to read the true connection of my relationships (I always think they're closer to me than they actually are) will cause me to lead a lonely life where I never branch out or even have opportunities to do so.

I've been trying to branch out to people my age (19-22ish) online and locally, yet many don't have any interest and let conversations dry out within 15 minutes. It's a weird dynamic as I feel I'm trying my best and doing a good job at communicating, but people just don't want that.