TW: mentions of sh and suicidal ideation

My therapist is leaning towards me having bipolar 2 And I just think it's interesting. My ex has bipolar. Though he has bipolar 1. And watching his experiences with months long manic and depressive episodes made my think there's no way I have bipolar..and for the past 3 years I've been thinking I have borderline personality disorder. Which they are very similar. And my therapist is still considering a personality disorder. But idk. She thinks I go into dissociative manic states when I sh. Because I have a lot of energy during and after and I often don't remember actually doing it or remembering the reason. I'm littered in scars and can't remember the reasons for 99% of them. And I also do go back and forth between elevated states. Sometimes feeling more motivated to do things and create, and during those times I often feel very like desired. I feel like I'm hot shit and everyone wants me and everyone should be like me. And often I'll spend money recklessly and just typically do impulsive things like asking my friends to hookup and when I leave that mindstate, regretting asking. And then I end up sometimes super depressed and self conscious thinking I'm super ugly and stupid and everyone hates me and I'll find peace in the idea of death and consider ending it all and tend to isolate myself during those times and lose motivation and rot in bed. Usually these times last a few days but I also will switch up and have lots of mood swings during, and sometimes I get super irritable and want to blow up and I end up hurting myself when I get super aggravted really fast. Like recently I was really depressed for a few days and today I feel ok and actually super fine and like life is amazing and like I've never been sad ever. Idk. Not looking for anyone here to try diagnose me or anything . Guess I wonder if anyone here relates. And if the elevated states I go through sound like hypomania. The idea of me being bipolar is just kinda weird in my mind because I've thought I had BPD for so long yk?