I feel like today broke me. like I was snapped in half. my life flashed before my eyes. this road I'm on feels treacherous and unyielding. I can't actually picture a future for myself because I don't believe I have one or that I will be here. my road just stops in the middle of nowhere. to a deep dark chasm. abrupt and final. the end of my line. I can't picture me prospering or happy. those things feel foreign to me. like I'm undeserving and destined to suffer forever because I cannot separate myself from my cruel mind. to peel back the skeleton that remains of a former Margaret. she is going, going, gone and in her place an imposter. a carcass of that which once was. I do not know how we revive her and oxegenate what used to be that has been dead for so long. I'm so hopelessly lost and that scares me, truthfully. I don't have much fight left in me. all I have is resignation.