tired. I'm tired. that is the word that comes to mind when I think of myself, my life and what I've become. I'm tired when I wake up, tired in the morning, tired in the afternoon, tired in the evening and tired when I go to bed. I'm tired of barely getting through the day. I'm tired of wishing I was never born, wishing I was dead the moment I wake, wishing every second away. I'm tired of feeling too much or nothing at all. I'm tired of letting everyone including myself down. I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of being a failure, a disappointment, a burden. I'm tired of not being able to enjoying life or relish in the finite time I have and not being able to appreciate existing. I'm tired of stagnating, of not making any progress. I'm tired of wasting my young years. I'm tired of living like this. I'm tired of trying but having nothing to show for it. I'm tired of perpetual anxiety. I'm tired of being a manic depressive. I'm tired of chronic mental health issues. I'm tired of the way they cripple me. I'm tired of being Black, a woman and plus size. I'm tired of despising myself. I'm tired of this world. I'm tired of this life, but mostly I'm tired of being me.