Hello, I came out of a manic episode 8 months ago and am now very depressed. I have stopped taking my meds as they caused me to gain 20 pounds.

I am now only eating around once per day. I absolutely hate eating and nothing ever sounds good to me. My psychiatrist has prescribed me a new medication (lexapro) and I was supposed to start taking it yesterday but am too depressed to go pick it up.

I have a check in with the psychiatrist Friday and I am planning to cancel the appointment because there is nothing to check in about. I feel terrible yet I’m afraid of what new side effects the lexapro will bring.

I am also dealing with extreme substance abuse issues and anxiety with work. I feel like going to the psychiatrist never helps because in the end it is up to me to fix it, and I don’t want to. If anyone can offer some words of advice, that would be great. I hope I can get better. Thanks