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how can i be so startlingly lucid when i’m clearly on the hypomania train headed straight into manicland?
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it’s now painfully obvious to me what is happening inside my head. it’s just that i have lived in such torment for so long and i thought i had made it through to the other side. but i can see now that it was all just an illusion, because i felt it last night... an undercurrent... more than just a slight sizzle of hypersexuality electrifying my skin. everyone always wants a lick, a taste, when i’m like this and it just makes me hate myself even more when i finally wake up as just a shadow of whom i once was.

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2 years ago