I have been trying for forever to quit weed. I just ended my longest streak of about a month, and I feel mixed about it. I’m curious what everyone else’s experience with weed and bipolar is like.

Weed makes me feel great, well some of the time. Some of the other times I definitely get anxious, particularly in social situations. It all really depends on the strain I’ve found.

And when I’ve found a strain that works for me (White Widow), it works. It doesn’t matter how depressed or anxious I feel, in one burst I can clear the fog in my head and finally take control of my body. To go work out, play guitar, talk to girls— just start living again.

Quitting weed (at least for the little while) was really beneficial, and I recommend everyone take a break and just raw dog reality every once in a while. For the month that I quit weed I noticed nothing in my life really changed. I still really struggled with school, I still played video games nearly 14 hours a day and I didn’t feel motivated at all to work out. Knowing this, I could feel what was wrong. I couldn’t use weed as a way to overcome these feelings and I could finally sense what was going wrong. This caused me to turn to my doctor and get a small increase in my Abilify. Something I think has been incredibly helpful these past few weeks.

A lot of people in my life have been judgemental about weed, especially when they learn I’m bipolar. My entire family disapproves me getting high, despite on the other hand my brothers and parents talk all the time about weed stocks. The only person to be understanding was my mom, I remember she helped me hide it from my dad a few times. But now everyone gets annoyed by it.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve really begun to want to take care of my body, and of course weed is a health hazard depending on its use. I used to be hitting about 4-5 bowls a day when I had my bong. My New Years resolution was to quit “smoking”, so I got a dry herb vaporizer and use that instead. I know it’s not ideal, but it’s way way healthier than smoking for sure, and it’s a step in the right direction I think for anyone who wants to be healthy and high. I’ve been trying to switch full time to edibles. I was using the oils for a while but they just make me sleepy. They don’t give me the energizing high that lets me get things done. And edibles just make me too high. I could very easily slip into anxious zone with edibles, whereas while vaping. I can control my dose a lot more.

If you can’t tell I’m quite zooked while writing this post. I packed my vape and took my dog for a walk and some wake and bake. And now I’m going to make a fresh pot of coffee, sit down and finish watching my E&M lecture.