I’m just getting over COVID and have been having some crazy dreams, but this one really fucked up my day and put me on edge. I know bipolar sometimes can make you have vivid dreams, so I guess combined with the fever and cold medicine just made it extra worse. Please don’t read this next paragraph if you are sensitive to blood or suicide.

So I was at some movie theatre and I went to the bathroom, and randomly got very suicidal and started banging my head against the toilet until I was bleeding bad. I went home to tell my mom but somehow there was no wound so she didn’t believe me. I tried to kill myself again, this time with some sort of poison that I dissolved in water, and I laid in bed waiting when I started to regret it and tried to call 911, but I couldn’t even move. Then I started to recover a little bit and dialed 911, and that was when I woke up, and I woke up with my phone in my hand! (Not even joking.)

Does this happen to anyone else where you get extremely awful nightmares, or was I just having a bad night? I’d also like to note that I am not suicidal.