I'll probably delete this, as I can't see it going well, but I am gonna try because in the past people here have been nice, and this is genuinely something that baffles me.

I figured I'd ask here because a lot of you probably do things that are frowned upon while hypomanic, but depression can also cause you to do some dumb things, and put the two together in a mixed episode and who knows what may happen. Either way, I figure people here have probably done SOMETHING while in one of these states that wasn't good. And so maybe some other people here have heard people say this sort of thing.

I don't get, like genuinely do not understand, why people say mental illness is "no excuse" for something. I realize you have to take responsibility for your actions, and I try my best, but my brain is doing some things that I didn't choose and my brain misbehaving can lead to me doing lots of things that aren't something I would do if I didn't have bipolar.

But isn't hypomania, or depression, or any other symptom of mental illness a REASON we might have poor judgement or other symptoms that lead to poor choices?

People are always saying it's "no excuse", many even argue that they wouldn't do the same and THEIR mentally ill, but like mental illness effects everyone differently for one, so you don't know what it is like dealing with mine.

Say if you say or do something when hypomanic (or actual manic even) that you wouldn't do otherwise. You still made a choice so you have to take responsibility for what happens, but you had bad judgement and impulse control issues stemming from something actually happening in your brain that you can't help. It's still your fault, but isn't your mental illness which you can't help a BIT of the cause?

When people say it's "NO excuse" it makes me think that they feel as though all of it is 100% your choice, your fault. But it's like, maybe some percentage of it IS at fault. Therefore it is like a bit of a reasonable excuse.

I see it gets taken as not taking responsibility or trying to change a situation, but that's not why I'm saying it at all, I always work to fix things, even MORE especially so when it is something I do partially because of my symptoms. It feels more hopeless to try to fix something when I DON'T think it was caused by my symptoms. My symptoms can be worked on with treatment. If I did it just because that's something I think I would do regardless, it feels kind of like it's impossible to change, like it's just a built in part of my personality or something and meds can't treat it out and therapy can't shrink it out, what do you do?

Like say someone was drunk and the stumble and break a vase. They still have to take responsibility, but it is a bit of an excuse/reason that they were drunk.

I feel it's the same with mental illness, except we never even make the choice to be hypomanic, manic, depressed, or otherwise, it just happens to us, in our brains, and we can lose impulse control, thinking skills, etc. and that can be a reason we do certain things. I am not saying it's 100% not controllable or that it can't be worked on. That's what people seem to take it as, and when I explain that it happened when I was hypomanic that is NOT what I am saying, nor am I looking at it as "oh well it's my mental illness can't change it". I am looking at it MORE critically than I would otherwise, with intention to work on it in treatment.

So why do people say it's "never an excuse" or "no excuse"?

People also are quick to tell mentally ill people they need a therapist or they need to work on "x" in therapy, and whatever, especially cruel people will ask if you "forgot your meds" when you do some things, but if people TRULY believe mental illness has NOTHING to do with things, then why in the world do they act like therapy or meds can help? If you really believe mental illness is no part of it, then it just doesn't make sense. If it's no excuse then therapy is no cure.

Your mental health is nothing to just lay the blame on with no intention of working on it, of course. You are still ultimately in control of your life and your bad decisions are still yours to own up to. But our brains are also taking us for a ride none of us chose. We don't CHOOSE to have low impulse control, bad decision making skills, a king of the world mentality, or anything hypomania puts us through. And no one would CHOOSE depression or mental illness in general, it's awful feeling. I feel like people who say this have I really poor understanding of what I am going through... either they aren't mentally ill at all or they don't experience symptoms the same way I, and many of us, do.

(And I know you're supposed to flair all posts, as I did read the rules, but the flair isn't showing up for me, it's just a blank list, so before you delete this or reprimand me, can I get some help with this issue?)