Ugh, I’m so over being everything I am. I don’t fit into society at all. Everything feels so damn difficult all the time. Nothing makes sense in my brain bc it’s so disjointed with me trying to do 1,000 different things all the time. Then I get burned out and hibernate for 2 days then I don’t sleep for the next 2 days, then I start a new hobby or find a new interest and find a new career trajectory that I map out, then I feel like I’m wasting my potential by not being a social media star yet I feel like if I were to be a social media star I’d be cancelled in 5 seconds bc I’m so blunt, then I feel like I’d break down bc of the comments and what if I do put myself out there but nobody cares so I ended up ruining any future job opportunities just by doing that? But it’s also like it doesn’t matter bc it’s not like I’m capable of working full time anyway I get so overwhelmed by everything in my brain that I just get angry and don’t want to bother trying anything bc everything feels pointless anyways and anything I enjoy is taken away from me I’m SO TIRED of feeling like I’m never living up to my potential but that I also have no potential bc everything I do bursts into flames regardless Idk whether I should sit around and let things manifest (allegedly) or if I should keep trying to make things happen… even tho making things happen hasn’t gone so well thus far I feel like I’m running out of time bc I’m nearly 30 and I still have zero money to even live CURRENTLY, much less any retirement And I’m upset bc I spent my whole childhood working my ass off to “become successful” but now I know that I’m not even cut out for normal people success of any kind. The only point to life that would make it worth it is if I could become a millionaire somehow and live a boujie life and travel to see my friends in various places and if I could donate my money to important causes I have none of that right now. I hate my life and I feel like I’m just a sitting duck, wasting time