I have this cycle where I’m doing really well, I’m making money, and I’m paying off my debt. My friends and family think I’ve finally found my purpose in life. I’m getting along well with others at work, I’m crushing all my metrics, on and on. I learn quickly. I figure out how to do the job really well. Usually I’m on a roll for a couple months. Then I do something batshit CRAZY out of nowhere and get fired. I usually end up having a blow up fight with a manager or a coworker where I call them crazy names and throw things around the job environment. Yes, I’m medicated. I take 4 high-dose medications per day. I see my psychiatrist every month. I go to therapy often. It’s not enough apparently. It happens over and over again. I tried to get on disability, but I got a good job and no longer needed it. Yet here we are again… I’m so defeated. I can’t do anything right. I do great, then I fall down again. It happens over and over. I feel like what’s the point anymore? I’m just so sad.