Feeling Like I Don't Belong

I feel so damn wired and full of energy. Yeah, I have ADHD, but Damn it; it NEVER ends. I want it to end, but I want to keep it going. It gives me something to look forward to so I don't feel like I'm losing myself in the balance. I feel on top of the world, like no one can touch me. I feel so overly confident and sexy, but then when it ends; I feel like the most hideous creature known to man and I want to hide myself. My thoughts are always going 1 million miles per hour, I can't stop; no matter what I do. I have been feeling so damn tired at times since being off of my birth control IUD I got removed that was causing me issues with my ovaries and stuff. Idk what I'm trying to say, but I am trying to balance being a TikTok Creator with 6K followers and trying to still do cosplay because it makes me happy, but I am so damn tired of trying to put energy into something as I am running out of ideas. I hope someone out there can relate because I hate this shit.