My fiancé just ended our engagement and I feel like I’m going to die (not actually). It was definitely not all my fault and she brought frustration into our relationship, but I was constantly cycling (and didn’t know I was) and I have patterns I couldn’t stop and I was unkind and would lash out when I was in a depression.

When I was diagnosed with Bipolar in 2020, I felt my world end. I want so badly to get married and have kids and I just don’t believe I will ever be healthy enough to do that. She was my rock and my person and I ruined everything we had together. My anxiety is through the roof and all I want is a redo, to go back in time and not have bipolar. It’s fucking terrible and it ruined the best thing in my life. I lost my person and I think I will regret this for the rest of my life.

I think I’m looking for support and kind words if there are any, a heartbreak is terrible but a heartbreak caused by your illness feels like the weight of the world crushing you.