I was depressed for almost a month and so my psych raised my Wellbutrin dose up to 300mg. This past week I’ve felt increasingly hypomanic until I crashed last night. It started with a surge of energy, enthusiasm, insomnia, nostalgia and euphoria, the usual. This eventually turned into me staying up all night and plummeting into depression to the point of not knowing what to do with myself. I sat outside my patio watching the rain, listening to music, crying, and contemplating suicide until I eventually just came back inside and cried myself to sleep. I’d had the occasional passing thought here and there before but last night was different. It was heavier, and I was actually weighing the options, looking things up, and planning things out. I woke up this morning and still feel depressed. On one hand, I’m trying to reassure myself everytime negative thoughts creep in and forgiving of myself, but at the same time there’s another part of me that keeps degrading myself and wants to give up. I feel so in conflict with myself and my emotions, it’s confusing and driving me mad.