Have been on anti depressants since I was 17 - was diagnosed as manic depressive back then. Am now almost 40 and recently diagnosed with Bipolar Type 1. Am now on lithium 1000mg and reduced my venlafaxine down to 75mg. I feel amazing! No longer have any depressive or dark episodes but feel quite agitated and almost like I want to get high to get back that manic/mania feeling. I am not a recreational drug taker but have had some tokes of weed in my life and feel like that's what I need to feel normal haha Is it just as simple as finding a hobby to keep myself busy/occupied so I don't feel like I have to chase this high, or is this the new normal I need to adjust too. Bearing in mind I felt like continual wanting to kill myself (thoughts only, no attempts) were also normal during my depressive episodes. I'm a busy mum with 2 kids and feel like I'm better than what I was but still not quite there yet but do not know how to articulate this to my key worker. Thank you!