I can understand how I was bipolar all along and it was in my genetics. I just don’t get how I can go from years of being stable and fine to having an extremely severe first manic episode with psychosis, leaving me with a destroyed brain in its aftermath. It’s been almost a year since that episode began, it lasted 3 or so months. I’m only like 50% back to normal. I constantly worry about not recovering and for my future. I feel so disconnected from who I was. I can’t even watch tv or scroll on my phone, my attention span/interest is not there. Does it get better? Do we come back from the extremes? I take care of myself, work, all of that, but they’re just things to kill time. I’m medicated and feel so flat and dead inside. This can’t be it! Does it go back to normal? I don’t even mind if it’s different. I just want to be able to relax and do any one thing that I feel happy doing and that isn’t staring off into the distance or at a wall. Thank you for any replies.