There were some instances from high school that was completely horrible. I had a falling out with a friend, and because of some very horrible things I said to her she attempted a permanent solution to her pain. After she got released from hospitalization and came back to school, she tried to work things out so we could be friends again. She didn’t say the right things and it pissed me off even more, so I basically verbally destroyed her in every way I could with all her information at my disposal, and said she didn’t try hard enough and if she really wanted it she should have done it right the first time. She once again was hospitalized for her extreme reactions to my statements.

Secondary was my senior year. My best friend of 9 years and I had a a little argument. So so small that I can’t remember what it was about. I made him a social outcast. He had no friends to sit with in classes or at lunch. We shared the same teachers and I was good at manipulating adults just as well as teens. So even his teachers didn’t treat him the same, but didn’t outright mistreat him either. Just stopped talking to him unless he asked a question or initiated conversation. He dropped out of school. Then put the blame on me with the Dean and Vice Dean of the school. But I had been prepared. I had screenshots from the last month or two where he said he was going to drop out, along with his reasonings for it. He sent the same things to our friend group. So they all testified on my behalf with screenshot evidence. The school wasn’t allowed to expel me with that much evidence.

So yeah those are probably the worst things that I’ve done to other people and not myself. On stable days I think “wow that was pretty bad” and on days when I’m manic/mixed/depressed I can’t help but think they deserved it. And remembering the power it made me feel gives me that temporary high