I know birthday depression is a real thing. But I’m turning 23 this week and I cannot feel anything except dread. I feel like complete shit. I haven’t graduated, I’m unemployed, and besides reading, I literally cannot bring myself to care about anything.

This is a depressive episode and I’m aware that it does have to end. But I’m broke, feel incredibly friendless and alone. Normally when this happens, I shower, change the sheets and delete social media and I’ve done that. Every single aspect of my life, there is NOTHING that I’m proud of.

I know I’m not alone here but…I wish my brain was normal. I wish I wasn’t ill. I really prefer mania, but this is hell.