I have bp2 if I remember correctly venting

For the first time since being able to tell when I'm manic. I legitimately can't tell if I've come out my manic episode or not. I wanna say no but I also feel the tight grip of depression pulling me down.

I literally don't even no what to do. I've been forcing myself to clean because my apartment has been super bad lately (injured then sick kids the grieving the death of a loved one)

Can't go to therapy or get back on meds since I don't have health insurance (can't afford it as of lately, yay American health care)

Maybe it's just a different type of episode? No clue. I keep going from spiraling depression to dancing in the kitchen to sobbing to feeling immaculate. After typing that I realize I'm still manic. This isn't how my episodes typically go.