How do you deal with a partner being verbally aggressive and angry towards you when you aren’t even in the wrong? I have never been treated this way in my life. I feel powerless.

Edit: more context.

The partner was mad because she asked for a summary of criteria for service by publication, but she felt my summary was too long to be a summary. My summary was about a page and a half. The statute was 3 pages. She asked for me to paste the statute in the email with the summary. I turn it in. I advise her that the requirements are lengthy, but I am happy to help with getting the service completed.

She emails me that she wants to give me feedback. I enthusiastically welcome it. We meet in the conference room. She begins, already emotionally charged, by saying through gritted teeth that she only wants to help me. But everything she said and how she said it was just aggressive and not even constructive criticism. She says what do you expect me to do with this? She then tells me she didn’t even read it because what I gave her was SO long.

She was berating me and angry and telling me that I was inappropriate and talking AT her, when I was only calmly answering her questions (which I didn’t know were actually just her rhetorical questions posed in the form of criticism). It was the craziest thing I’ve ever experienced in the work place. Like visceral emotion of anger spewed at me because of a brief research assignment.

She even said “if you think your summary was so good YOU service it.” And pushed the paper over to me angrily. I was like ok, I don’t mind doing that? But she didn’t actually want me to do it. She was just basically saying that as a fuck you.

She was completely erratic and misrepresenting my behavior. She told me do you think it’s appropriate to talk to me that way? Which was nuts because I was calmly explaining my work and answering her questions. She even told me I was talking over her. I calmly replied I have not talked over you at all in this conversation. I also stated “I am sensing hostility from you and I am genuinely confused, can we please bring the chair of the department in here for this?” And she was like no I don’t have time! As she was storming out, I said would you still like me to serve the complaint? And she was like NO and walked out.

She has acted like this twice with me now and is not known for behaving this way. So I don’t know what the fuck her problem is with me.

If you care about demographics: she is female but masculine presenting, I am female and feminine presenting. I am the only POC in the firm. I have been practicing about 6 months.