I’m starting to get into a cycle of behaviour around being refused anything other than handjobs and very limited vaginal sex. I know the depiction of women’s abilities and appetites in porn is not accurate or reasonable, but paired with a dominant personality in a BDSM context, inflicting unwanted pain isn’t my thing, but I am not being satisfied sexually. After a series of unhappy sexual experiences I tend to avoid women in real life for a bit and rely on porn instead. This leads to reduced self esteem, and occasionally quite an acute downward spiral in my mood. It sounds ridiculous.

People assume a BD boosts esteem and has a positive effect on mental health. Anyone else have more negative experiences? How do you deal with them?