Hey all! I have a regular butt sex thing going with a hung guy. I’d guess he’s around 8.5”-ish which is on the far end of what I can take comfortably in from behind. And when I say “comfortably” what I mean is that I am usually uncomfortable, but we have good chemistry so I’ve been trying to be a trooper about it.

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One thing that happened for the first few months we were hooking up is my ass would sort of involuntarily spasm (clench and unclench in a rapid vibrating way—hard to explain, but rarely lasted more than a few seconds) after initial anal penetration. It never happened after the first few seconds of him pushing in. It was proportionally worse if the penetration was rough/rushed. The guy (wrongly, but generously) believed that these spasms were my extra super developed anal skills and expressed regularly his appreciation for the sensation, but I honestly wasn’t controlling it. Eventually I explained that it wasn't something I could control.

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Has this happened to anyone before? What exactly IS happening in my body when this occurs? Is it dangerous/bad/a sign that I’m being hurt internally?

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The second part of my question is how to INTENTIONALLY recreate this sensation for him. I’ve recently gotten a little better at taking his dick, which means that I’m more comfortable during anal but the spasm things have stopped. However, he says that he misses the sensation and wants me to gear my Kegel exercises towards being able to recreate the vibration. I have learned how to clench and unclench during anal but only SLOWLY (like I clench for 10-15 seconds then release). As it stands, I have no ability to do the vibration thing. Does anyone know of a way to teach yourself how to do this? I realize it’s a bit of a weird question, but he seems to be fetishizing what was a literal involuntary reaction and I want to please him.

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I realize this more of a butthole problem than a dick problem, but IS IT? I mean, a big dick is causing said issue so I was wondering if anyone here has experience. 😂 Help!