Sigh. I like big cocks. No, really, I do. I love them. Absolutely LOVE them. Alright, no, I take that back. I love MOST big cocks. There's one in particular I'm not too fond of. Because it's mine.

Why should I be upset that I have an absolutely massive cock that puts most pornstars to shame? ...Uhm, well because I'm a girl. Yaaaay. That's a minor little problem. Except there's nothing little about it. Which is half the problem.

To a degree, yeah, it's kind of nice to have a huge girlcock, but at the same time... eh... I don't really want it so much. I'd rather that this thing were attached to someone else. Like... I enjoy the thought of someone with an absolutely huge fucking cock just pinning me down and flat out breaking me. The issue there is that when you're rocking 9.25 inches of meat, your perspective on what's classified as "huge" becomes a little bit distorted.

Seriously, I look up "huge cock" porn and... whew, it sucks. I'm sorry, if you aren't even my size, I can't really classify that as "huge" to me. Unfortunately, that rules out damned near everyone except some very, very rare edge cases. So even finding porn that sates me is a chore and is mostly limited to hentai and furry porn where it's normal to see foot and a half long cocks, which sadly aren't really a thing in reality.

I would absolutely looooove to have someone with a cock twice my size compare sizes and just giggle at how tiny I am in comparison and then rut the everloving fuck out of me. ...That's obviously not going to happen. I might get lucky and get someone an inch or two longer, but that's about it. Aaaand it would be online. The chances of there even being a single person living remotely near me in this tiny little town in the middle of nowhere who can even match my size, much less surpass it by a considerable amount, is virtually nil.

I want someone with a huge cock. I'm a huge size queen and I want to be flat out bred by a cock that makes me cringe with fear at its size. So why does it have to be attached to me instead of someone else? This isn't how this is supposed to go.

I don't even feel like it's "mine" as it were. It's like... I didn't earn this. I didn't even ask for a cock at all, much less this bloody battering ram. I mean it's nice, don't get me wrong, but it feels... wrong to have it. Like I don't deserve it. There are guys who would literally kill - like full on murder - to have a cock like mine, and I don't even appreciate it, which just makes me feel even more guilty about having it.

But why's it attached to ME? I'd absolutely have loved it if I had just been a normal girl with a boyfriend who's packing what I am. Or a girlfriend. Though then she'd probably have the same issues I have now, so I guess that wouldn't be exactly fair either. Ugh. Gaaawd. Actually, yes, GOD. If there is one, he's got one fucking sick sense of humour.

My dating pool is basically non-existent because of this thrice-damned thing. Turns out straight guys aren't too interested in cock, especially not if it makes them feel emasculated. Turns out gay guys aren't interested in women. Turns out straight women insist they aren't lesbians, and the lesbians insist they don't want a cock. Well... hellbunnies. I mean, yeah, I know there are totally people out there who absolutely drool over the idea of a girl with an absolutely huge cock, but... they're kind of a super tiny minority is the thing, and if you live in an area with a 4-figure population, eh... there's not exactly any around here, or if there are, there's no way to discover who they are because the only public stuff around here is church groups, which erm... I dunno if you've thought about this, but that's kind of not the place to start waving around a massive girlcock. Maybe if I were a choirboy... mmm, no, probably not even then.

Anyway, rawr. Normally I keep this all to myself and quiet, but it really grates on me some days. Some days I just crawl into bed in the middle of the afternoon and cry myself to sleep over all the complications this thing has brought upon me. Sometimes it's just so depressing to know that, no matter how hard I try, no amount of effort, skill, training, kindness, humour or anything I can do on my end will make up for the fact that this huge cock of mine is flat out intimidating or a downright turnoff to almost all potential suitors. I just get so sick and tired of hearing variations on the phrase "I'm sure you'll make someone very happy someday... but not me."

Yeah, I'm sure you'll find someone! There's plenty of people out there who are huge size queens! ...Not in that particular combination and not in this tiny area unfortunately and I've not the resources to leave, despite trying to repeatedly. I'm in my mid-30's now, I'm not exactly boasting a lot of time to play with here before my dating options shrink that much further still. Fortunately, I look very young for my age, you'd probably guess I was 20, not 35, so I have that going for me. I try to be fair about this, it's not all bad. But... there's also that unmistakable issue of, if I really would have found someone, it probably would've been by now. I'm getting into the territory where guys want to settle down and have kids as well, not just women. Uhm... yeah, I'm not getting pregnant, not unless they attempt a few new, experimental surgeries which haven't happened before. So that's just one more mark against me. I mean, yeah, some guys would love to be able to have sex constantly and not have to worry about pregnancy, but they kind of tend to also want to have it open as an option for "eventually" and knowing that it's a "never" scenario doesn't help.

I mean, each of the component parts sounds like a real catch, right? I'm not overweight, I not only love video games but actually work on building them, whatever geeky thing you'd want to talk about I will just fawn over and endlessly babble about stuff like quantum physics or epigenetics. I'm actually not insane, I'm emotionally stable, don't like getting into fights, and would much rather talk out problems so I'm not going to throw vases at someone if we have an argument - hell, I physically can't even yell due to a medical issue several years ago. Huge cock, not too bad breasts that definitely don't look like manboobs, and kinky as fuck in the bedroom... individually, all of these should be great. Turns out that 'huge cock' is only really an advantage if you're a guy, or talking to a rather tiny subset of the population, and basically negates pretty much everything else.

Oh, and to top it all off... I'm mostly a submissive. Yeah. Because that's just what I need on top of all of this, is to want to be collared and owned like a pet. Because, yanno, dommy guys who don't feel a bit awkward and won't break the moment as they stare at just how much bigger you are than them are just a dime a dozen. They're just all over the place. Hallelujah, it's-a raining men! ...Eh. Not really. I need someone I can challenge and who can show they earned their right to put me in my place, who can control me as my better. That's... awfully hard to find when you're blatantly their better in one particular area... doubly so when you're looking for a dommy guy who is okay with his switch girlfriend reaming his ass deep enough that his waist distends with the imprint instead occasionally.

Blarghlewrath. So frustrating. It's like I intentionally chose every single possible option that would coincide with making this the most frustrating situation to deal with imaginable.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me rant for awhile, and thanks for having this subreddit here at all. Sorry for being so angsty and such, but this seems like the one place to be exactly that for once. It's nice to just be able to bitch about it for once instead of curling up in a ball under a pile of blankets and wanting everything to just go away. I know a lot of people have worse problems than I do, but it still doesn't make it suck any less. Actually, this is like the least of my problems, and most people don't have it worse if you include other stuff, but that's besides the point. The point is I got to whine and bitch for a little bit and... I actually feel a bit better, oddly enough. I... don't even have that normal feeling of intense guilt for having stated any of my issues.

I think I'm going to go bake some cinnamon rolls. I'm not entirely sure how that segue works, but I don't care right now. Yay cinnamon rolls.