I'm thinking about this because of something that just happened.

First: I (bi M) don't know if I present as queer, exactly, but I definitely present as "not a typical dad" for the region where I live. I have pierced ears and like to wear drop earrings sometimes, and I have an unusual hairstyle. I also have painted toenails (those weren't visible today tho).

Anyway, just now picking up my kid from school I happened to be wearing drop earrings, and one of her friends said "your dad is weird! He wears earrings like that?" (Not maliciously, and to be fair she's right that it is weird at least in this neck of the woods).

My kid then told me in the car that another classmate told her today that I look ugly (lmao, I'm getting roasted by 7 year olds apparently).

This kid is a bully in general so I think he was just trying to say something mean to her, but still, that in combination with the other thing did make me think about whether I should try to "tone it down" when I'm around her school/classmates for school stuff.

On the one hand, I hate the idea of doing that on principle, and she says she doesn't care what the other kids say. I also think there's an argument that it's teaching her to be yourself if I continue to wear what/present how I like wherever we go.

On the other hand, I don't want to be the cause of her getting bullied, or have her feeling like she has to defend me to these kids. And I could see this getting worse as she gets older, what's "weird" to a second grader is probably going to be "groomer" to some of these kids in a few years as they get older and indoctrinated by their parents.

(We live in a pretty liberal area overall, but it's kind of like where suburbs meets rural, and there are definitely a few Republican lawn signs between home and her school).

So IDK, I guess I'm just interested in hearing thoughts and experiences in terms of how the rest of y'all have approached this, if you've encountered it?