To clarify a few things, my girlfriend knows that I am bi/pan. In the beginning of our relationship, I was very open about who I was and what I have done in the past. She loves me and accepts me and I love her. She is willing to work with me when I start having my moments where I want to bottom even going as far as pegging me. She’s still very new to the whole thing but she’s willing to do it all for me. She is also straight as well.

The problem is that I can’t stop thinking of wanting to have sex with other men. I don’t want a relationship with a guy but there’s just something about the masculinity and the physicality of men have sex that I don’t get with being pegged. It’s like my body is going through some withdrawal and it’s to the point where I can’t bring myself to be intimate with my girlfriend. Is this normal for your body to crave sex with your own gender to the point where your body just shuts down?

As a joke one time, I asked her if she would consider letting me just have sex with a guy every now and then and she was not too fond of the idea. I’ve even asked if she would consider having sex with another woman or even if she would have sex with another guy in a threesome, both answers to that have been “no”.

I have heard of couples who are able to have healthy relationships with one of the partners being queer but I don’t know what to do. It’s been taking a toll on my mental health because I feel guilty for not talking to her about it but I don’t know how to tell her and I don’t want to ruin the relationship because of something like this. If anyone could just give me some words of wisdom on what I can do to keep my relationship safe, I would greatly appreciate it.

Edit 1: I want to be sure whoever is reading this knows that my girlfriend and I do have a great sex life and we are intimate as much as we can be. There are just some times where I’m not feeling like penetrating her because I’ll be wanting to be penetrated.