Understanding my sexuality

Hey guys, 33m married here. Just going through a bit of self discovery here. Might be a bit of a long one. I have always had the desire to play with another guy ever since late teens, not in an attraction way but a general curiosity way. I don’t look at guys and feel attraction but the thought of submitting to a cock drives me wild. Did some light exploration (mutual bj) while drunk with a mate when I was 18 but didn’t get to fully explore due to meeting the mrs.

Wife and I used to be very sexually adventurous pre-kids which led to me exploring anal play with myself. Needless to say I absolutely love anal play even though she was never really able to get into it. Toy collection grew and grew and I went through nearly all toy options I could get my hands on exploring my body. My wife is fully aware that I play with my ass but she doesn’t know how gay-centric it has become.

Once I discovered prostate pleasure I am absolutely hooked. Roughly once a fortnight I have solo play time in the shower with my toys. Over time the intensity has grown and I’m now at a point where more often than not I’m watching bi porn as I massage my prostate and lap up everything that leaks out during. Despite trying hard I haven’t achieved full prostate orgasm or being able to eat my load after cumming, but I’m working on it.

Even though I feel no emotional attraction to men and I don’t objectively find guys attractive IRL - my self pleasure sessions are becoming more and more gay orientated. I find myself scrolling through Reddit, Snapchat and Grindr lusting after cocks for days in preparation for my sessions.

While mid session last night my mind started trying to classify myself. Does my lust and admiration of cocks make me bisexual? I fantasize often about blowing guys and bottoming for a hung guy, but the thought of kissing or cuddling a man does nothing for me.

Appreciate everyone’s input as I try to make a bit of sense of myself.