My baby girl is 9 months old and I'm starting to crack. I'm a SAHM. I regret that I tried to work from home when she was little and easy. I quit my job just in time for her to start crawling. She is so cute at this age. She's learning so much and everyday she can do more than the day before. But I'm so drained that I don't have the energy to really enjoy her. And I feel so guilty.

She prefers me to her dad. Her dad has a hard time getting her to sleep. And it makes him feel sad that she won't cuddle with him like she does with me. He tries to give me time to myself, but there are several times that she'll just crawl to me and fuss unless I'm there too.

I spend most of the day in the pen with her. It's easier there because she can't get into anything. But I just want out of that damn pen. I'll chase her around the living room for less than an hour before I'm frustrated/exhausted and resort back to the pen. I'll close her in my bedroom with me(less ways she can kill herself in there) and do my make-up while she plays with the mirror. I take her on a walk when the weather is nice. She usually falls asleep on the walks so I try to time them right before nap time.

On a good day, she'll take an hour nap in the morning and another hour nap in the evening. I spend most of this time cleaning, but try to do something "fun" as well. Today I'm writing this post. But some days I really don't get much of a break (she doesn't nap long). Yesterday she napped 20 minutes in the morning. I took a shower, got dressed and then she was awake. On her afternoon nap, she napped over an hour...but was latched to my boob the entire time. She woke up every time I got her off.

And now she's up. I wasn't really done with this post but I need to go. I don't have anyone that can watch her so I can't take a break...it just really sucks right now.