Hi! My baby is 4 days old. I was in labor for about 12 hours and ended up having an emergency c section. We were discharged from the hospital yesterday and last night was our first night home.

I'm struggling with baby being able to be taken out of my presence :( The nurses wheeling him out of my room would freak me out so bad and i barely slept last night because someone else was up with him so i could try to get a little sleep and so he wasnt in my room with me. I keep crying when i get reunited with him and i don't know why, the tears just immediately start happening.

My c section pain is not being well managed so i cant move very easily and ive been handing him off to other people for diaper changes and for most feedings as well and that makes me cry and feel the seperation anxiety too, even when he's still right next to me.

I was put to sleep for my c section and some people said that might cause me to struggle a little more with processing that baby is out of me now. I keep touching my tummy and crying.

Is this normal? How do i get it to stop? How do I be okay with not holding my baby 100% of the time? I feel so exhausted and wired and not like a person at all. I just want to focus on taking care of my baby but i feel too weird and shitty and tearful to do that properly ;a;