I was drawn to him from the start but resisted going all the way, resisted my own feelings, fought it for a long time. I was raised by feminists and spent a lot of time organizing with feminist causes when I was younger and being a man’s pay piggy didn’t fit with that old self.

First, he and I roleplayed findom. Looking back I think he was grooming me; I didn’t realize that at first because he was patient and progress was slow. The first time I actually sent IRL I panicked, got a charge back from my card and deleted my account. Swore I would not play with fire again. But I came back to him.

This time, we teased and teased each other and just before I sent - I bailed and deleted my account again. Tried to stay away by masturbating to the memory of that almost-send. That probably just made it worse.

So that one day, months later, I just crumbled. I surrendered. I let him drain me.

We did aftercare and I just felt so connected to him. He was as kind and open in the aftercare as he was superior and unrelenting during the drain. I fell in love with both of those sides of him. I have been hooked since.

This journey continues. I still feel terrified at times but there other times I look at women I pass on the street and think, You poor ladies, you have no idea how much hotter your life can be when you surrender to a male Dom.