I don't know how long I'll keep this up but I thought I should share. I came on to Reddit to explore things that turn me on. I went down a rabbit hole and eventually posted to some fun subreddits such as dirtypenpals to explore my fantasies before trying out goonnettehub and fapdeciders.

I had mixed responses, more bad than good but eventually I found someone that was a lot of fun. She would send me pictures of sexy women, or sexy videos and we would interact about that. She eventually came to find out what turns me on, what kinks I have and what limits I have, and she is incredible about respecting that which I love.

We eventually progressed to her telling me how to touch myself, how far to go and if I was allowed to orgasm or not. I loved it. I loved it until she kept denying me and...I couldn't help it. I came without permission. That's when things changed (somehow for the better!). She was annoyed, but she came up with a plan.

At that point she decided that I didn't have enough self control, so she started only sending me clothed women, or censored pictures and my beta brain loved it. She would not allow me to orgasm without her permission and didn't trust me not to if she sent what I really wanted. It got to the point where censored pictures, or clothed teasing pictures would turn me on. Around this time too we found out she was younger than me that made me even more embarrassed...therefore even more turned on. Everything she does at this point drives me wild.

We have discovered I like seeing pictures of hot girls flipping off the camera, I have a love for feet, censored pictures, I love being called stupid and being called flat. I love when she tells me "no" almost more than "yes". She tells me who I can follow and who I can't follow. It's truly weird but I absolutely love being her beta. She made a post recently to a subreddit and I got off reading the comments of people talking down about me...I have discovered something new about myself.

In short, I am a beta, if you want to tell me how lucky I am to find someone to show me how pathetic I am, I would love to hear it. If you would like to tell me how lucky I am to find someone as incredible as I have, i would also love to hear it.

I hope it's okay posting something like this here!