There's been plenty of fall-out in my life due to the choices I make, largely because of the behavioral changes cued by benzodiazepines. Because of these social 'fall-outs'. I find myself longing for connection and a social tribe; I'm sure many of us do. But it feels like perhaps because of the use/taper//withdrawal, there are big parts of me that resist the idea and just don't want to do it.

It's the little things in socializing - we all know them. Even when I have humored it (the one time I did) I still found myself just waning be alone. I've been trying new meetings lately; some of them are cool.
I know I need to to spend time finding 'my people' , and I'm young and there's lot so of work to be done, but DAMNIT. IT'S HARD. All of this so so hard in so many ways!

I just wanted to vent about those contradicting feelings in the social realm after use, and isolation.
What do you guys think.