Title says it all.

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I had a few slips here and there but only when I really truly needed it. This week was just Bored, Sad, Tired-of-bullshit-pandemic feelings holding me back from making more progress, and getting away from all this shit.

I've worked hard to get to where i'm at; I don't know why I threw that away for 3 days of use. I took 8mg Monday, 4mg Tuesday and 4mg today. In a small, small way I am glad it happened because it didn't help with ANYthing. It just made me tired. I mean it took away the Paws of restlessness and tounge/teeth biting, but fuck I can deal with that if it means not turning into a sad tired zombie.

A sad, tired zombie. That's what I keep thinking and now I feel like I'm back at the beginning. I know I'm not, but does the feeling ever put you back into that state. I'll wake up tomorrow groggy and kinda faded. I'll be feeling awful because over the last 72 hrs I've taken 15 god damned mg.

I just needed to vent, sorry. I know relapse is part of this process, but im really hungry for success and these mistakes are slowly starving me .

LoveUall.