I don't know a lot about benzodiazepines or any kind of pharmas to be honest. Ive always had mild OCD but really bad GAD (not social anxiety at all, I'm usually fine if I'm in a social situation or distracted, it's alone with my thoughts that it get's bad.)

I recently had surgery and they prescribed me 5mg Valium (1-2 as needed) for anxiety and muscle relaxing.. I only ended up using 4 of them over the 10 days I was recovering there. I have a decent amount left and am just using them when my anxiety is really bad (1-2 a week at the moment.) It's the only thing that has ever been able to fully stop my anxiety.

I smoke weed sometimes with my friends, and it only relaxes me for a very short window before I go into terrible anxious paranoid levels, and it's hard to measure exactly where my 'good level' window lies. Ideally this would be my best solution if too much weed didn't make me even worse, I also live somewhere that it's very hard to locate (and get good quality) and it's very expensive.

I drink a couple times a week with my friends but that's to have fun, I don't like the idea of being a guy that sits at home getting tipsy/ drunk alone to quiet my brain down. I wanna still be able to function.

So can anyone recommend some sort of milder prescription I can get similar to diazepam without all the shit that comes with it (tolerance, withdrawls). I don't mind if it isn't AS strong or effective, I just figure it's best not to get too far into it if I can avoid it.

And please don't recommend therapy, any therapy I've ever had has made my anxiety worse, especially OCD when I acknowledge the thoughts they get louder/ more powerful and distracting. I just amen't the kind of person that likes talking about it.