Fuck I just let out a really good cry and I haven’t had one in a while, I’m one of those guys who holds things in a lot which I know isn’t healthy and probably why I’ve got the mental health issues I deal with. But I find Xanax I’ve been taking since 20 and abusing it pretty heavily I’m turning 25 next year and was just thinking about how quick time flys. Seeing my old buddy’s from highschool on vacations, girlfriends, fancy restaurants and yet here I am still struggling with addiction sleeping on a couch in a small apartment with 3 other people. But I just started a snow removal job a few days ago which is pretty physical work I didn’t realize how bad my cardio was after not working a physical job and the years of benzo use and smoking weed😕 I guess I’m too hard on myself sometimes but girls and other distractions are hard when your trying to focus on yourself and fighting demons. Any advice I’d appreciate love y’all✌️